We seek advice and feedback often when we are unsure of our future course of action. Sometimes people add relevant perspectives that we had never considered. They challenge the way we look at our world and bring clarity. Sometimes they leave us even more confused and are best ignored. But how do we know when to do what? Am I ignoring an advice because it makes me uncomfortable or if it is not relevant to me?
Providing feedback the right way is a critical part of the job of a parent, teacher, manager, friend, customer etc. Feedback provided the right way can help one to deepen relationships and become better at tasks at hand. A botched up feedback can turn a reluctant person into a rebel, beginner struggles into permanent disinterest and wasted talent. Last time we looked at ways to keep people motivated through right praise, let us know look at a even more vital aspect of sharing feedback the right way.
When to give Feedback:
Only when appropriate:
When your spouse is asking you about her new haircut, she is looking for validation and not feedback. It’s not much different from when your 5 year old artist shows his new painting. Distinguish between validation seeking and feedback seeking and act accordingly.
Whiners. You can always recognise one when you have a conversation with them. A tell-tale sign. When you are around them, you feel the shadow of negative energy as they start berating. How bad their day is, how this government should never have been chosen, how insensitive homo sapiens are. As if problems on just the planet of earth are not enough, they start complaining about how harsh the sun is these days and how the ozone layer is depleting and causing global warming! Choose any topic. Name it, and they have a complaint.
While not everyone is a serial whiner, I am sure that everyone can do with a little less complaining. I used to complain a lot, but I realised a few things about complaining that forced me to reduce my habit. I am not 100% successful, but I have significantly reduced the number of whines and complaints to 2 – 3 every week. In this post, you will read about why complaining is bad and what you can do instead. Continue reading You complain so much!
Friend 1: “Just look at these photos. I too wish to take these type of photos. If only I could save up the money to buy a DSLR, lens and filters.”
Friend 2: “Would you look at this snow-capped mountain in the Himalayas? How I wish I could trek on it. Our tropical town is no good. We’d never get the buy the equipment to go on those exotic treks.”
Friend 3: “Dude, you just wait and see. The day I am able to gather a team of experts around me, I will start my business earning millions. But it’s so hard to hire experts, man.”
We all come across these people who repeat the above kind of sentences every day and insist that their reasons for not starting out on something are very genuine. Lack of resources, lack of facilities, lack of experts and what not! But the one thing that they do not lack at all is EXCUSES. Instead of getting resourceful with what they have and just getting started, they are willing to wait for that utopian day when they have the best of resources, which they assume will automatically enable them to churn out masterpiece after masterpiece.
Let us discover why it is not a good idea to wait for the best resources to fall your way and how not to fall into the trap of ‘excusitis’. Let’s get started on our dreams today!